Thursday, September 4, 2014

Bye August, Hey September.

August oh august, what a whirlwind it has been. You have been so hard on us. I will never forget the face of my uncle looking at my aunt for the very last time before they close the coffin. I will never forget the teary faces of my little cousins from that moment. Her trembling hands when she dress up her mum for the last time, having her quiet moments away from the crowd, the moment when the coffin was incinerated before our eyes. Each and every moment impacted me so much. So many questions why. Too many questions why.

Then, just two weeks after, I was mourning again. Hubby's grandma passed. Although, it wasn't as painful to see, as grandma lived a really fruitful life till 92. There was a glimpse of tearful moment when part of the ritual, Alex's uncle had to walk with kneels over to pay his last respect as soon as he got off the plane and reached grandma's resting place. The grief of a son for his mother... but in many ways, we try to celebrate a wonderful and strong lady she has been. Being able to live pass 90, to many is considered a great blessing.

Even when it all has passed, I'm still very much thinking of my aunt, & constantly, wondering how my cousins are doing. ALS/MND is just too cruel. It just is.

Just like that, time just flew by again. Wish there was a rewind button to go back where it all didn't happen, but there isn't. I'm trying my best to be strong and trying my best to be their big sister they can turn to and helping them whenever I can. I just celebrate my birthday but this year my wish is for time to be able to heal wounds & for everyone I love to have good health. Hoping September will be a better month.


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